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MAXINE'S
THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE
Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A: Because no one wants to quit.
Q: Is there life without chocolate?
A: We don't know. No one dared to attempt it yet.
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it
too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries
all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge
off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the
chocolate to protect themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that
a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of
calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But
if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose.
An entire garment industry would be devastated.
You can't let that happen, can you?
I doubt whether the world holds for anyone a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice cream.
~Heywood Broun
A 1.5 oz. milk chocolate bar has only 220 calories.
A 1.75 oz. serving of potato chips has 230 calories.
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