What's the use of happiness?   It can't buy you money.  ~Henny Youngman
The Wrong Last Rites
A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest! Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd but finds no priest, no minister, no man of the ckoth of any kind,

"A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age.

"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I've been living behind St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every Friday night I listen to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man."

The policeman agrees and brings the octogenarian over to where the dying man lay. He kneels down, leans over the injured man, and says in a solemn voice:

"B - 4. I - 19. N - 38. G - 54. O - 72."
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Henri Matisse's Le Bateau hung in New York's Museum of Modern Art for 47 days in 1961 before someone noticed it was upside down.

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