“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”
Doug Larson
Hotel Breakfest
A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and said with a wonderful and cheerful smile.

"Good Morning sir. What a wonderful morning I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked it's runny, and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."

"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult."

The guest replied, "Oh? I don't understand -- that's what I got yesterday!"
Grated summer squash makes a good substitute for carrots in a carrot cake.
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