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“He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.”
Fred Allen (1894-1956)
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Lemon Juice
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet: The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze out one more drop of juice would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weight lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice,"I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?"
The man replied, "I work for the Internal Revenue Service."
Zebra tomatoes are golf ball sized tomatoes with greenish or yellowish stripes. They have excellent flavor, and are delicious in salads, or by themselves, sliced and topped with olive oil and some grated cheese.
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