An elderly couple was crossing the Canadian border to go to their winter recluse in Florida. At the crossing they were stopped by an over-zealous border guard, on his first day at work. He commenced to ask the couple a battery of questions.
The husband, on behalf of his almost deaf wife, answered the barrage of queries.
Officer: "Where are you going?"
Husband: "We're on vacation and going to Florida."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He wants to know where we're going."
Officer: "How long will you be gone?"
Husband: "About one month."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He wants to know how long we'll be gone."
Officer: "Where are you from?"
Husband: "We're from Toronto, Ontario."
Officer: "Toronto, huh. I was there once. Nice city.
Had the worst date experience in my life."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He says he knows you!"
In Canada it's illegal to pay for a 50 cent item with only pennies, to publicly remove bandages, and for clear or non-dark sodas to contain caffeine.
