The Plane Truth
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A man has an hour to kill before his flight to Los Angeles. He decides to kill some time at an airport bar. He walks in and sits down next to a
clearly nervous guy, who has three empty whisky glasses in front of him. The man introduces himself to the nervous guy, and buys him a drink.

The man asks, "Nervous about flying?"

The nervous guy replies, "N-n-nervous? I'm t-terrified. I j-just know the
p-plane is g-going t-to crash and we're g-going to d-die."

"Is this your first time flying?"

"N-no, I fly c-cross-c-country all the t-time. It's m-my job."

"Why don't you just ask your boss if you can drive cross-country?"

"H-he would never l-let me do that"

"Why not?" asks the man.

The nervous guy replies, "B-because, I'm the p-pilot."
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I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.
  ~George Bernard Shaw
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Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight.

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